When you've suffered the loss of a mate, the grief can be overwhelming. It consumes your every thought, and no matter what you are doing in the course of a day, your mind tends to drift back to your loved one, reminding you that they are gone. It's normal for your loss to consume your thoughts, especially when the loss is still fresh. There is no magic number of days that you're allowed to grieve--and suddenly it's over. No. Grief is a process, and everyone moves through the process differently, and at a different pace. So don't beat yourself up for feeling sad; or for not feeling like going out and being the life of the party. It will take time to heal from the loss of you spouse. Just remember, you are not alone. In fact, you are NEVER alone. GOD promised to always be there for you, and He will. He will comfort you and walk you through your time of grief.....again I said He'll walk you "through" it. That means that one day you will find that it has passed. It was hard--but you made it. You'll always remember your spouse, but the memories will be happy ones. Your heavy heart will be lifted, and there'll be more smiles than tears. It's at this time that you will be able to comfort and encourage others who are experiencing difficulties in widowhood. After all, you've just come through what they are just beginning to experience; and you'll find that helping others--has helped YOU!