Your “normal” has changed. You now have to adjust to a “new normal”, which consists of life without your spouse. Your daily routine may be different: You're now having your morning coffee alone. You're coming home to an empty house. You're cooking meals for one, instead of two; You're attending dinner parties and social functions alone. There is no one to cuddle and watch tv with. Life, as you've known it has changed. The world keeps turning; but for you—time is standing still. You don't feel ready for all the changes, anymore than you were ready for the loss of your spouse. You didn't ask for it. Who in their right mind would ask to become widowed? Yet here you are, going it alone, not by choice, but by circumstances that are beyond your control.
Well meaning people tell you that it gets better with time. But how can it? Don't they know, time stopped for you when you lost your mate? Not only did time stop, but laughter stopped; happiness stopped; fun stopped. Even the sun stopped shining in your world, replaced the by dark cloud of grief.
But let me tell you my friend. Take it from someone who's been there. It's true, that your life, as you knew it when your spouse was alive, has forever changed. Through tearful eyes your world looks distorted, unclear. You don't see how you can ever recover from this loss. But you can—and you will!
As you move through the stages of grief, taking one day at a time, you will find yourself starting to “feel” again; to care again. As time goes on, your load gets lighter and lighter. The worst is over when you find yourself looking forward to what the next day will bring; and looking to the future through eyes of faith—and not fear. It's now that you can clearly see that you were never---going it alone .....